I am not a doctor. As I’ve said before, I’d love to charge hundreds of dollars for any service (OK…maybe not any…). So please, don’t tell me your symptoms and expect me to do anything but check WebMD.
This may be a shock to you. So, as your doctor, I’m asking you to sit down and take some deep breaths.
If you’re in the library, please leave. I don’t want to get what you have. Yes, I’m talking to you lady-who-brought-her-son-who-has H1N1-into-the-library.
Not cool. Not cool at all!
If you’re on the phone, instead of dialing me, though I’m always happy to hear your lovely voice (with some exceptions–you know who you are!), PLEASE (in ALL seriousness…) call an actual doctor. Or Urgent Care. Or the ER. Or 911.
All the best,
The Reader, M.D.
P.S. This post was written while listening to “Wake Up” by The Arcade Fire